WWE Survivor Series 2008 Predictions

It's 2008 and Survivor Series will be at the TD Banknorth Garden live tonight at 8pm. It will be a powerhouse Pay-per-view that will be exciting and memorable. Here are the predictions:

Chris Jericho (c) vs. John Cena for the World Heavyweight Championship: I don't think Cena will get the belt (I truly hope not). It will be interesting to see how the Boston crowd reacts to Cena's awaited return. I think the match will end in a disqualification for either Cena or Jericho.

The Undertaker vs. The Big Show in a Casket Match: Undertaker without a doubt. I need not say anymore.

Triple H (c) vs Vladimir Kozlov vs. Jeff Hardy for the WWE Championship: If the news about Jeff Hardy being found unconscious in his hotel is not a storyline, which I hope it is not, it goes to Triple H. My god, my god, I hope it isn't. I want this to be Hardy's time to finally achieve that gold.

Team Michaels (Shawn Michaels, Rey Mysterio, Cryme Tyme (JTG and Shad), and The Great Khali) vs. Team JBL (John "Bradshaw" Layfield, Kane, Montel Vontavious Porter, John Morrison and The Miz) in a 5-on-5 Survivor Series Elimination Match: You know, with MVP's 6 month losing streak, perhaps he will be the sole survivor. Or maybe he will be the first one eliminated. Regardless, I think Team HBK will take this one.

Team Batista (Batista, CM Punk, Kofi Kingston, Matt Hardy and R-Truth) vs. Team Orton (Randy Orton, Shelton Benjamin, William Regal, Cody Rhodes and Mark Henry) in a 5-on-5 Survivor Series Elimination Match: I think Team Orton will take this. This is RKO's first truly big match since returning from his injury. Not to mention, the members of Team Batista haven't been faring well in the individual matches they have had.

Team Raw (Beth Phoenix, Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Candice Michelle, and Jillian Hall) vs. Team SmackDown (Michelle McCool, Victoria, Maria, Maryse, and Natalya) in a 5-on-5 Diva Survivor Series Elimination Match: I don't know why, but it seems like Smackdown tends to win these Raw vs. Smackdown type of matches. While I think Raw has the better overall wrestling talent, I think it will go to Smackdown.

Nader stops in Somerville

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"Miracle" is a Mess of a Movie

Spike Lee will have to deal with negative criticisms of his newest film, Miracle at St. Anna, mainly in reference to the word “Miracle.” Picture the headlines: “Miracle is Anything but a Miracle,” “St. Anna Needs a Miracle of a Writer,” and so on. While those critics may find fault with the film, they will be wrong, somewhat. Miracle at its heart has a great story, but its heart is not in the right place. Instead, it is a mess of a movie that tries to swallow more than it can chew.

Miracle is told in flashback (and later in another flashback), with four survivors of an all-black army company after an ambush from the Nazis. They take in a wounded Italian boy and hold up in a small village hoping for reinforcements to arrive. However, are they survivors out of pure fortune or does a statue head that one soldier carries keep them safe?

While the plot description sounds hokey, explaining anymore would ruin a few surprises of the film, though if attentive, you will guess in advance as to what they are. Essentially the movie tries to tell three stories: the black soldiers, the Italian boy they befriend, and an Italian resistance group. Each could have their own film. Yet, at a running time of 2 hours and 46 minutes, it still is not enough. Undeniably, director Lee and writer James McBride (who also penned the novel) feel the most important story is about the black soldiers. Their story is engaging, but not enough. He merely uses the story of the Italian boy and Italian resistance as afterthoughts. Their stories are just as intriguing as the soldiers are and it is a shame the writer and director chose to ignore that. Had they given focus to those two other stories, the film would’ve clocked in at four hours. Length, however, does not dictate a good or bad film. It’s the final product that does.

Director Spike Lee also has an intentional tendency to get preachy in his films. We come to learn that the Italian village people treat them better than at home back in the USA. That itself is an interesting fact. However, Lee has to tell us that. We know it already and he just keeps hammering it in us as if we are stubborn children who refuse to pay attention. In addition, we know it’s a war where blacks were sent in as guinea pigs on the more dangerous missions. Again, the characters, or I should say the filmmakers, feel they have to announce these things as if we did not know. Lecturing is for professors to do, not films. It alienates the film goers who do not like to be spoon-fed the messages or themes of the film. Also, it is generally insulting.
What the director and writer do get right is the compelling relationship between the Italian boy and one of the soldiers, whom the boy calls by a funny pet name. Watching the relationship grow between this boy and young man, who is a kid at heart, is both beautiful and emotional. Seeing them break communication barriers and come to an eventual understanding of one another is done elegantly by the filmmakers. It is not treated in a sappy, force fed way, but with truth and honesty.

Miracle could have been, and should have been a great film. The stories of black soldiers are one that needs to be told and Lee had an opportunity that failed. He should have either stuck to one story or fully fleshed out all three. Instead, it is a muddle film that thinks it is a masterpiece, but ultimately, it is not.

Rating: 6/10

WWE 2008 The Great American Bash Predictions

I will be attending the 2008 Great American Bash tomorrow at the Nassau Coliseum. I am truly looking forward to this event. The card will have some great matches and perhaps some history will be made as well. To that, here is my predictions for the Pay-Per-View.



Matt Hardy (c) vs. Shelton Benjamin for the WWE United States Championship:

I think they will keep the belt on Hardy. Regardless I think this could be a great match. Shelton can show off some good moves of his. He's improved a lot in the ring since his stint on Raw where he did absolutely nothing. I think they'll keep the belt on Hardy for a few months before it's decided to drop it to Shelton.



John Morrison and The Miz (c) vs. Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder vs. Jesse and Festus vs. Finlay and Hornswoggle in a Fatal Four-Way match for the WWE Tag Team Championship:

Finlay and Hornswoggle. Morrison and Miz have surprisingly made a competent tag team. It's interesting to note that their characters don't seem to care about each other, but only in keeping the belts. I like that new twist on a tag team. The Edgeheads and the team of Jess and Fest I don't think have shown enough to warrant a win for tag team gold. I think we will see the disintegration of the Morrison and Miz to a loss to Finlay and Hornswoggle. It's Team Ireland's time.


Mark Henry vs. Tommy Dreamer in a singles match for the ECW Championship:

Mark Henry. Tommy Dreamer unfortunately has been held back. I don't think it will be a squash match (I hope it isn't), but if anyone will be beat Henry, it certainly won't be Dreamer.



Natalya vs. Michelle McCool in a singles match for the WWE Divas Championship:

Natalya. Honestly, I haven't paid much attention to the Smackdown! women's division. However, I will say both are capable talents. I think this one will go to Natalya based on that she'd be a better champion but also is a member of the Hart family.



John Cena vs. John "Bradshaw" Layfield in a New York City Parking Lot Brawl:

Though I don't want it to, John Cena. It's simple. The WWE is marketing John Cena as Superman. No one can beat the man the kids love and the grownups love to hate.



Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho in a Singles match:

Chris Jericho. I think this will be a great match and may possibly the best on the card. We got two great technical wrestlers who have a limited high-flying repertoire. They both have past wins and loses to each other. Both of them have their respective fans who cheer and boo them. While the two have fought before, I think they will both put on a good show.



CM Punk (c) vs. Batista in a Singles match for the World Heavyweight Championship:

CM Punk. I don't think that Batista is going to win back the belt just yet. I give CM Punk perhaps until the end of the year before he drops it to Batista or someone else. This should be an interesting match considering the two different styles with Punk's martial arts expertise and Batista's power moves. Perhaps some interference with Kane I predict.



Triple H (c) vs. Edge in a Singles match for the WWE Championship:

Triple H. Triple H rarely ever jobs. I think this will be no exception. While I hope Edge wins, I don't think he will. I get the feeling that there will be some sort of interference. Perhaps Undertaker or Vickie Guerrero?

An Ode to Stan Winston

Stan Winston, special effects wizard.

"I don't do special effects. I do characters. I do creatures."

Stan Winston was certainly right with what he said. Though the casual film viewer may look at a film with Winston's name in the credits and think of the directors, actors, writers, Winston left a distinct mark for creating his own characters. Winston's repretoire of projects ranged from dramas to gory horror films, from W.C. Fields and Me (the first film he worked on) to Predator. You knew that if you walked into a movie with Stan Winston's name on it, that while perhaps the acting would be bad, the directing stilted, or have a badly written screenplay, his on-screen creations would compensenate the viewer.

Not much credit is given to the artists who create the robots, aliens, or other creatures that are characters in the films along with the actors. The AMPAS didn't even have an award for Makeup until 1981. Rick Baker won that year for American Werewolf in London, but the only other nominee was Stan Winston for Heartbeeps, which should come as no surprise. Winston gave the special effects medium a face. It wasn't tinkering with remote controls anymore or trying to make the creature have the most disgusting teeth with blood dripping down. He elevated it to a new level. The films he worked on, perhaps the most famous being Predator, Jurassic Park, and Terminator 2: Judgement Day, all used effect creations as characters.

In Predator, Winston created a unique looking figure that is mysterious, yet intruing. Why is the alien here? What does it look like without the mask? When the mask is finally pulled off, we get a look at the creature that has been hunting for Dutch. It's weird mandible that opens not like a regular mouth, but like something not of this earth is perhaps it's most notable characteristic. And we do agree with Dutch when he exclaims "You're one ugly motherfucker."

Winston made his movies memorable. It's as simple as that. Would T2 have been as good a film had the effects been subpar? Would Jurassic Park even be watchable without a T-rex staring into a van with a single flashlight on it's eye? In a field that is dominated now with CGI, the true special effect art is dying. Soon, there won't be need for anymore Stan Winston's. Hopefully, it won't come soon.

A Fan's Account of Million Dollar Mania NY Press Conference

John Cena with Million Dollar Mania winners Sarah Fuhrmann and Steve Rosenzweig with WWE Diva Maria

I arrived at the Hard Rock Cafe to get the opportunity to witness the WWE press conference on Vince McMahon's Million Dollar Mania. I got there at around 8:30 a.m. and already there was a line of about fifty people. The first people in line had camped out the day before. We waited by the sidewalk and the line gradually became longer. At around 11 a.m., Vince McMahon arrived in his limo. The crowd of people, sacrificing their places in line, ran to the limo to get a glimpse of the Boss. McMahon was quickly whisked away through the back of the Cafe. Fifteen minutes later, Maria arrived. A little while later, John Cena. He received a mix reaction with a good amount cheering for him and others jeering him. Then last but not least, the King of Kings arrived. He quickly entered the back way avoiding autograph requests from fans. Though the conference was advertised to start at 11 a.m., fans wound up having to stand for a very long time outside in the sun. The fans were getting restless and many started to have a little fun by attempting to start random chants of past wrestlers (IE Rocky chants). At 11:51 a.m. the doors were opened to the cafe, but first we were told we couldn't bring in food or drinks and to make sure we didn't, an employee went around with a trash bin. The line started to move and security asked people with bags to open them to show what was inside. No metal detectors or pat downs.

Inside the cafe, seats near the stage where already filled up so everyone else pretty much chose to stand as close from where they could see. Those who couldn't improvised by standing on chairs and tables. Members of the media were there including My9 News. The WWE video crew were also filming shots of crowds going nuts and yelling to put up on the website most likely. During the time the crowd was pouring in, two video screens on the walls played Raw flashbacks and WWE's work with the troops and Make-A-Wish Foundation. Hard Rock Cafe said the first 500 people would be allowed inside the press conference. Though it didn't look like 500 people total, the room was packed to the max. It was impossible to move without hitting someone or not get in the way of a person taking a photo.
Todd Grisham walked on the stage and that's when the festivities started. The crowd was all riled up that despite Grisham was speaking into a mic, you could barely hear what he was saying. He introduced John Cena, who came out to his theme music and titantron clips playing on the TV screens. As expected, he received cheers from the younger members of the audience, but got a handful of boos and "Cena sucks" from the older members. Cena laughed off the negative chants and thanked the fans for their support of the WWE.
Grisham then introduced a man who worked for E-Prize, which is conducting the contest. I could not catch the name as the crowd was so loud. He received chants of "Who are you?" Pretty much, the fans talked loudly over him so much of what he said was unintelligible.
WWE Diva Maria was the next person introduced and she received quite a loud pop. She did her pose where she bends over and blows a kiss to the audience. She told the audience how much the divas are like a family and mentioned how they do everything together including showering, which she said there was a video of. Members of the crowd were chanting to see the video.
Introduced next was the woman who won $2 from Raw. The crowd was not interested in what she had to say so they talked over her. The crowd was really hot for Triple HHH as chants of him started.
It then finally came. Triple H's trademark Motorhead theme struck. The pop was astounding. Triple H walked out and everyone started chanting "TRIPLE H!" It was at least five minutes before everyone quieted to let Hunter speak. Hunter made some cracks at Cena's expense which the crowd enjoyed. He also gave the winner of the $2 three more dollars making it a grand total of $5. About the fans Hunter said "We have the greatest fans in the world."
After Hunter took his seat, the man who won $250,000 came out. The fans didn't care a bit what he had to say and he quickly finished his "thank you" speech to make way for the man of the hour.
"No Chance in Hell" hit and people went berserk, including yours truly. McMahon came out to a rapturous pop from the crowd and he ate it up. He thanked the fans and plugged the Million Dollar Mania and the upcoming episode of Raw.
After it was all over, the employees kicked everyone out and over a hundred people waited behind security gates to get a glimpse (and hopefully an autograph) of their favorite superstar. Maria came out and signed a few, then got into her limo.
Everybody was clamoring for Triple H's autograph. To the dismay of fans, he left without signing one.
The press conference (not the right words to use as it was not one in the traditional sense) perhaps was unnecessary. But knowing Vince McMahon, he enjoys publicity. After all, it's all about the money.

Vince McMahon and Triple H with the Million Dollars at the Hard Rock Cafe

"Indy" May Not Be "Crystal," but it's a Fun Ride

Walking into the midnight screening of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull gave me such a feeling of exhilaration. A film that was nineteen years in the making, that seemed to be in development hell, I would finally get to see with my eyes. When the film ended, I felt I had seen a great film. It wasn't perfect, but I had been entertained. Then, after a few days of thinking about it, I felt that the movie was not as good as I may have thought it was. Yet despite these flaws, the positives outweigh the negatives.

Dr. Henry Jones (Harrison Ford) is back and with World War II over, Russian communists become the bad guys for Indy to defeat. A badly accented Cate Blanchett plays Col. Dr. Irina Spalko, who is on a quest to find the Crystal Skulls, which is said to have the power of mind control. Indy meets up with a young rebel (Shia LaBeouf), who comes complete with a switchblade, leather jacket, and motorcycle. He wants to find his father and his mother who went missing looking for the skulls. Eventually, Indy finds himself once again facing off against the forces of evil and along the way, learns a secret he may not be prepared to handle.

A lot of personal hype was riding on this movie. I don't sugarcoat the fact I'm an Indiana Jones fan. I have the box set and have seen all three films numerous times. My personal favorite is the first one. Keeping with the tradition of the Indy films, the film has great action. There is a great motorcycle chase, a chase through a mysterious jungle, and a fight scene involving killer ants. The scenes are wonderful and just fun to watch. They don't have the Michael Bay style of editing so we get to focus on the action instead of being distracted by the technical aspects of the film.

One addition that turns my heart to gold is seeing Karen Allen back as Marion Ravenwood. She is an unrecognized actress who never got her due in Hollywood. She didn't do much after the 80's, and I can't name off the top of my head anything noteworthy after Starman, but she brings back the strong will and fierceness that she gave to her character. Despite her age, she is not a helpless woman. She can hold her own against the main cast in the film. Another talent is Shia LaBeouf. This kid has a great future in movies. He will be going on to great things. He's smart, funny, and tough who plays the role of a rebel just right.

All praise aside, I for some reason feel more inclined to discuss the downsides of this film. First off, this movie doesn't look like an Indiana Jones film. It has a new cinematographer, which is the reason why. The first three were filmed by Douglas Slocombe, while this one was filmed by Janusz Kaminski, a favorite of Spielberg's. The first three films had this unique comic book look to them. I can't explain that well how this one looks, but it doesn't look like an Indiana Jones film. The film is also too long. Some scenes go on with too much yap and not enough zap. A scene with Indy talking to the dean of the college he works at in his office really was just more of a nod to the fans of the series and it should have been handled with less time consumption.

It is well noted that director Steve Spielberg has claimed this film would use little CGI. To be honest, it was producer Frank Marshall who said this: "Steven (Spielberg) is very aware of the process and we're not cheating with CG (computer graphics) at all. It keeps the B movie feel." It doesn't seem like they kept their word. The film seems to be heavily laden with computer effects from backgrounds, animals, sets, and other entities that probably could've been used with traditional effects. It's disappointing to see these effects. I am sure that some scenes had to be done with CGI, but that doesn't give the filmmakers the excuse to use it ad nauseum.

Perhaps my biggest problem is the ending. This a minor spoiler for those reading. I think Spielberg has an affinity with aliens. Aliens are his deus ex machina. It was great in Close Encounters of the Third Kind and E.T., but it gets very tiresome. Aliens did not have to be answer to this film's conclusion. It doesn't fit into the Indiana Jones arc. There have been elements of fantasy in these films, but they fit well into the films. The aliens don't. It feels very forced, as if the director said "I have to make a reference to aliens and UFOs somehow." It should be in a scifi film. Not an action-adventure-comedy.

Was the fourth installment of Indiana Jones worth it? I say yes. It's got flaws. It's a much different movie than the other three. It could've been a lot better. Maybe I'll even say the movie was not necessary to make. Indeed, Spielberg could have just re-released all three films ala Star Wars, without the updated effects of course. But I can't hide that I did enjoy the film. It's got great action and the nostalgia is just too much to turn it down.

Verdict: 7/10

"The Deed to Hell" is Low Budget Filmmaking Worth Your Time

It's unfortunate that the current theatre going experience seems to be only saturated with big budget comic book adaptations, lame romantic comedies, or films graced with the presence of CGI anthropomorphic lions. Just some days it's great to get away from the big multiplexes with the barrage of previews and commercials that precede the film and heading out to your local art house dive where you can see a well crafted. That might just be the medicine worth taking. Enter The Deed to Hell.

Long Island independent filmmaker Glenn Andreiev has created a film not with a single narrative, but instead takes the approach of multiple character stories and then interweaving them at the end. Lynell Campbell (Shawna Bermender) is determined to get revenge on heavy metal rocker Zad Zolock for drugging one of of her friends. A husband and wife (Roy Frumkes and Wendy Marquez) are facing a marital discord stemming from the wife's struggle to create a perfect family. She is reminisicent of Mary Tyler Moore from Ordinary People. Two men rob a million dollars, leading to one of the men betraying the other. It leaves one man wounded (Frank Franconeri) and the other (Glenn Andreiev) hiding out in Europe. Eventually the lives of all these people come together for their own unique trip to Hell.

It's great to see a little film with such a big heart. It succeeds in the areas that many other low budget films tend to fail in. With low budget films, performances can either be really good or really bad. There isn't a middle ground. The acting by the performers in the film is top notch. I get a lot of motivation and feeling from each of the protagonists (or antagonists depending on how you view main characters). Shawna Bermender feeds her character with hate for Zolock, but yet despite her actions, you feel sorry for her and that does come into play at the end. She is not an evil person, but a scorned woman who feels that she only has one way of dealing with Zolock. Many of the other actors are first time performers and you would not be able to guess that. None of them under or over act their performances, something that trained actors do quite often. Instead they each bring their own unique nuances to the characters they play. But the one who steals the show is Roy Frumkes as Vince Cataco, the cheating husband. His face speaks wonders when he is dealing with his stubborn wife putting him down or yelling at him. It is both funny in a tragic way and tragic in a humorous way.

Something this film does really well is the merging of three different genres. You got a heist, a thriller, and a family drama all rolled into one movie and they interweave so fluidly. Many films that take this approach get it wrong. A lot of them have one story which is given priority over the others, the stories do not seem to fit, or all three stories are just plain bad. But each story in this film is given an adequate amount of time to flesh itself out and nothing feels rushed or overdrawn.

However, the most intriguing aspect of the film is its vision of Hell. Ever since Dante's Inferno, people have been mystified of what Hell must be. Is it a place where fire and brimstone burn the flesh away from your body, is it having to relive your most painful memories, or is it ruled by a demon who is having a homosexual affair with Saddam Hussein? The film's interpretation of Hell is unique, and I don't want to give too much away on it. I'll just say, it is creepy and extremely gory.

According to the Internet Movie Database, the budget is estimated to be around $70,000. You would not guess that from watching the film. Locations from Long Island to Greece are used as the backdrop of this film and nothing is against a blue-screen as far as I can tell. And if anything was, I was fooled. A bigger budget film would have filmed in Canada for the tax breaks, but the film has an authenticity to it that is missing from most films. Nothing seems "fake" in that CGI or some trickery was used to for the location shootings.

I had the pleasure of seeing this film at an early morning screening at my local art house cinema. It is refreshing to see a film that is pure guerrilla film making. I hope the film is picked up by a good distributor and can release it so others at some point can enjoy it as much as I did. To put it in a food perspective, seeing all those blockbuster films would be akin to eating candy everyday. Not a lot of people can live on candy only. Sometimes you got to pick the fresh fruit to keep yourself in balance.

Verdict: 8/10

New Addition to Blog

Hello all. I've decided to add a new feature to my blog. It will most likely be a weekly feature. It's going to be called "What's the Deal?" I will focus on a topic or topics that has been given a lot of press, media, attention, etc. and try to decipher why or why not it should be a big "deal." This shall start next Sunday. Have a good night all.

Superhero Movie Review

Parodies should be funny. A bad parody is an even worse type of bad comedy. It leaves a bad taste in the mouth and not to mention, a really big hole in the wallet. Superhero MOvie treads that line between some funny laughs, but with many headfirst diving into a concrete pool not so funny laughs.

Credit must be given when it's due. The film has a plot! It's thinner than an anorexic person, but still holds together. Teenager Rick Riker (Drake Bell) is the quintestianl loser. That all changes when he is bitten by a radioactive dragonfly that gives super dragonfly abilities. Ironically, he doesn't have the power to fly. Evil scientist Lou Landers (Christopher McDonald) has created a machine that will cure him of his illness. One catch: it backfires and now whenever he touches someone, he takes their life energy, which he now must survive on. Pretty creative.

I have to admit some parts made me laugh out loud. However, most of that came from comedian extradonaire Leslie Nielsen. He brings that trademark look of not being in on the joke, which gives off some hilarious results including a very funny scene when he explains the facts of life to his newphew Rick.

Drake Bell, most famous as the dimwitted brother in Nickelodeon's Drake & Josh seems to think that comedic timing is about making reaction faces to absurd situations or events. That is why many of these parodies fail. The absurdity of the situation should speak for itself. We don't need the charcter to tell us that. It distracts from the comedy. While I blame Bell for that, the fault must also lie with the writers and directors. It simply is not funny.

Most of the jokes consist of making fun of the obvious pop culture sensations including Youtube, Tom Cruise, and 2girls1cup. While I did get the jokes, this is where the film fails. The humor is already dated. The great classic parodies like Airplane and Naked Gun did not have constant barrages of reference to the contemporary culture of the time. They aren't dated. Superhero Movie is already dated. Not to mention, unless you know the references, you won't get the jokes. Comedies, good comedies, shouldn't do that. Would Shakespeare's comedies be remembered if his comedies made only references to his period? No. They have a feeling of timelessness.

The film does succeed in noting the absurdities of the Superhero genre itself, like the cliched characters and archtypes that are so prevelanet in the genre. However, most of that humor falls into the category of making fun of the obvious that it's not funny. When the humor is obvious it fails for exactly that reason; there is no surprise.

Superhero Movie is an okay movie. Like all parodies, it had the possibility to be great. It certainly doesn't reach the status of Naked Gun, but it certainly doesn't reach the lowly status of the Epic Movie line.

Rating: 6/10

10,000 B.C. Movie Review

Hollywood churns out so many bad movies one would think that it is done like an assembly line. However, assembly lines build good, new, impressive looking cars for the most part. 10,000 B.C. is like a car that was made from other car parts that do not go together. Not only do you get a bad car, you get a horrid looking and useless product with money spent on it that could have gone to something else worth making. It is a cliche ridden epic that is one of the worst films that has been ever made.

The film follows a young hunter's journey to find his kidnapped lover. Like we all haven't heard that before. That's it in a nutshell. Explaining the plot would be taking up useful space to tear this film to pieces.

Where to start. The film is directed by Roland Emmerich, who is by no means a bad director, but not a good one either. His past films include The Patriot, Independence Day, and The Day After Tomorrow. They are not excellent cinematic excursions, but the films serve the purpose to entertain. Emmerich's goal with this film does not seem to entertain, but to try to immerse us with inane scenes that are supposed to be profound and philosophical in some way. Instead, they read like the kid who always raises his or her hand in class to say something smart while they come across looking like an idiot actually. The action scenes themselves are of little concern for the most part. Yes, they are fun to look at. However, the film should be more than mere action scenes if it wants to be a good film. And ironically, the action scenes are so short, perhaps they shouldn't even be considered action scenes.

Unfortunately for Mr. Emmerich, he has to get pounded twice as he also co-wrote the script, which is the worst thing about this film. The script is a mishmash of so many cliches it borders on plagiarism. One thousand monkeys on one thousand typewriters could create a better screenplay, even on their worst day. Cliche #1: You have the old, wrinkly, wise sage (a female sage in this film) that has blurry visions and spills out prophesies with wide eyes and a foreboding voice. She sees everything and knows everything. We've seen that a thousand times before and this is one thousandth and first time we see it. Cliche #2: The "meaningful deaths." Usually on these adventure films, the main character is supported by a band of friends. What winds up happening is a few of them die. As we all know, they don't just die, they have to give a structured monologue about something or other. That happens in this film too often. Cliche #3: Horrendous dialogue. Why is that a cliche? Because it happens too often in films. You have everything from the main character comparing his girlfriend to the moon to talking to a rabid sabre-tooth tiger. It boggles how someone actually was sitting at a typewriter and thought "Hm, this is profound."

Wait. But there is one good thing about the film: the ending. I don't mean that as an insult. I mean that the ending has a nice (and the only good) action scene. It's enough to get a filler of a twenty minute action scene.

Alas, this is simply put one of the worst films that I have ever seen. Period

Rating: 2/10

Wrestlemania 24 Predictions

It's the biggest event for fans of the WWE. The Superbowl for WWE fans. Nothing can describe the awe and spectacle that plays when Wrestlemania goes live to the millions of wrestling fans worldwide. From Hulk Hogan body slamming Andre the Giant to John Cena winning an upset over Shawn Michaels, Wrestlemania is the biggest, best, and most unpredictable event that the WWE has to offer. These are my Wrestlemania 24 predictions:

ECW Championship: Chavo Guerrero (c) vs. TBD

The winner of the pre-show interpromotional battle royal will go on to face Chavo Guerrero.

Winner: TBD. I think the winner of the battle royal, regardless of who it is, will win the championship. Chavo has had it for a while and I think that the championship will switch hands.

Belfast Brawl: Finlay vs. John "Bradshaw" Layfield

Winner: Finlay. Why? Because his name is Finlay and he loves to fight.

Playboy BunnyMania Lumberjack match: Maria and Ashley vs. Beth Phoenix and Melina
Winner: Maria and Ashley. I think Maria has lost enough and it's time for her to win.

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

Winner: Shawn Michaels. It has been said this would be Ric Flair's last match forever. Not to mention, the man is nearing an age where it would be impossible to wrestle like he used to. Granted, he's a legend, but all good things must come to an end. It will definitely be an emotional match for all WWE fans.

Umaga vs. Batista

Winner: Umaga. Umaga is in need of a push. Rumor has it, that he is going to be moved to Smackdown to feud with Undertaker. It would be important for Umaga to win so that his push would be more believable. Umaga is also an underrated talent. He's a super heavyweight yet can move faster than some middleweight guys. This should definitely be a powerhouse match.

No Disqualification match: Floyd "Money" Mayweather vs. The Big Show

Winner: Floyd "Money" Mayweather. First off, I don't want Mayweather to win. I don't know how this guy is as a boxer, but in the world of sports entertainment, he is awful. Mayweather has delivered some of the worst promos I have ever seen. I don't think his in-ring skills will be the most fine tuned. Unfortunately, though he will win regardless, even though I am hoping Big Show wins, I know it won't happen.

Money in the Bank ladder match: Mr. Kennedy vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Jericho vs. Carlito vs. Montel Vontavious Porter vs. CM Punk vs. John Morrison

Winner: Chris Jericho. This is a tough one. No doubt if Jeff Hardy hadn't been suspended he would be the winner. But looking at the participants, with the exception of Y2J and Kennedy, none of them has gave me an inkling they have a chance to win. Kennedy has already won the Money in the Bank already, as well, he will be shooting a movie. I think with those odds added up, it will go to Y2J.

World Heavyweight Championship: Edge (c) vs. The Undertaker

Winner: The Undertaker. 15-0 will now be 16-0. Wrestlemania is the Undertaker's show and it's time for him to finally get a championship that he will hopefully not lose in the course of a few months.

Triple Threat match for the WWE Championship: Randy Orton (c) vs. Triple H vs. John Cena

Winner: Triple H. I really hope Randy Orton somehow retains the championship. But I don't think it will happen. At first, I thought John Cena would win, but then a friend of mine reminded me he was filming an upcoming movie. It it hadn't been for that, Cena would be the winner. I do wish I am wrong and hope Randy Orton retains the championship. Hunter and Cena have had their taste of gold numerous times and I wish Orton would be given a chance to keep the championship at least for a few more months.